I’ve been making bad Premier League predictions for a number of years, and I’m back for another chance to look foolish.
I’ve also added commentary sure to piss off someone. Yes, yes, I know that I’m an idiot and wrong.
- Manchester City – the machine rolls on
- Arsenal – the team is improved from last season’s heights but also they don’t have Haaland
- Liverpool – revamped midfield fixes their biggest problem last season
- Spurs – no Europe to impede Angeball plus GK and defensive improvements
- Manchester United – one Casemiro injury from being Badchester United
- Newcastle – overachieved last season without Europe; still good, but not that good. Yet.
- Chelsea – underachieved last season, but still a mess in terms of team structure
- Brighton – well-run team with seemingly endless depth, but also going to be dealing with Thursday night Europa League matches
- Villa – doesn’t have the depth to increase league position while also playing in eastern Europe on Thursday nights
- West Ham – Set Piece FC if JWP is taking free kicks for Maguire and Soucek to nod home. hot take: they either finish top half or get relegated after Moyes is sacked
- Fulham – probably okay unless Mitrovic leaves for Saudi
- Brentford – probably a slight decline with Raya leaving and Toney missing half the season
- Everton – Sean Dyche is a wizard, and Everton will concede 45 goals or less
- Crystal Palace – Roy keeps them decent for one more season
- Nottingham Forest – they survived last year and maybe the squad all know each other’s names by now
- Bournemouth – lucky last season, but there are worse teams, such as:
- Burnley – will be fun to watch despite being outclassed by 16 other sides
- Sheffield Utd – could finish a few spots higher; could be relegated. idk
- Wolves – already had their coach quit and the season hasn’t even started
- Luton – “we’re just happy to be here”